I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
