Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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