So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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