I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
