I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
