I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
