nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
be right there i have to get my cape
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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