I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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