You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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