i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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