I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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