have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
