walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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