I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
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I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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