508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
