Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize