This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
