bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize