I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
