haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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