I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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