I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
