My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
