Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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