I'm sorry my penis didn't work
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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