you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
