well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize