We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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