ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
