Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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