RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
zippers are such a cool invention
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
