I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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