Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
