I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
