Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
