You made me cry and you don't even care
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
