Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
false alarm, still single
Randomize
