Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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