sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
