I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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