Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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