I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
