I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
