Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
two words: eviction party
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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