whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
