They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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