so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
