There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
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Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
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Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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