the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
