I CAN MOONWALK!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
