Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
