Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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