Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
The air taste purple.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
