I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
