Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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