she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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