You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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