I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize