i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
