Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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