coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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