He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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