we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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