Pants 0. Shit 1.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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