We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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