My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
